To say my 6 year old son has a sweet tooth, is a great understatement. During this season of Christmas and holidays our counter and cupboards look probably like many of yours, filled with extra treats and baked goods. He asked me the other morning if he could have a Christmas treat from the counter. I responded “no, because it is only 8:00 in the morning, and we don’t have treats in the morning.” When he asked me again for a treat the next morning, my initial reaction was to say “don’t ask me again as you already know the rules.” I paused though and thought about what I was conveying to my son and was it the actual message I wanted to convey. Did I want him to learn to not ask something more than once just because he received a “no”.
There are a lot of times in life when we have to be persistent and try, try again. A “no” from a sport’s team doesn’t mean you never play the sport again. You work hard to improve your skills and try again. A “no” from a school or a job is an invitation to keep searching for the right space to walk in a dream or purpose. Sometimes a “no” is a “no” for good reason and meant to be followed but other times it is an invitation for creative solutions in life that may not just benefit you but many others. We are all inspired by the underdog stories when a person persisted in a vision no matter how many “no’s” they received. I want my son to be confident to share his opinion and to ask for something again! The Bible says those who earnestly seek Him, will find Him (Jer 19:13).
What I did want to bring correction to my son though was his response to my “no”. The meltdown was unnecessary when he knew there was a 99% chance I was going to say “no” since our routine and previous responses reflected no treats for breakfast. Once I discern my actual desired message I want to convey to him, then I can come up with a more appropriate response that conveys the heart of the message rather than condemning the ask itself.