I rushed down the stairs to put on my shoes for basketball practice in 2nd grade. My dad brought me to an abrupt stop, telling me to go change my socks. I looked down at my feet to find two different multicolored socks. “Only wear white socks to practice, or you will get teased,” he said. Have you ever considered what you may unintentionally be passing on or teaching your children?
Now, my dad was trying his best to protect me at that moment. Anyone over the age of five years knows rejection and knows that it hurts. My dad did not want me to experience rejection from my teammates. What he unintentionally was teaching me at that moment, though, was how to walk in insecurity and protection. He was unknowingly training me to fear rejection and take steps to protect myself from it rather than empowering me with security in who I was and the confidence to share what I carry with the world. Again, there was no ill intent in my father. I love my dad, and he has been an incredible father to me. When we don’t know the beliefs we carry and live out of, we unintentionally raise our kids to walk in the same beliefs.
I started seeing the same cycle in myself when my daughter started making interesting and flashy outfit choices around 2 years old 😉 I had to make an intentional choice to hold my tongue and assess my own insecurity and feelings of embarrassment before I brought opinions to my impressionable little girl who loves color and sparkle! The beautiful thing about the Lord is that He is a gracious and loving Father to us. He does not correct harshly with shame but gently comes into those spaces with healing and comfort. He desires for for us to begin walking with new freedom that we then get to share with our children. Ask the Lord this week if there are places you are unintentionally training your children to live in insecurity and protection mode. Allow Him to tell you how He sees you and begin to heal those spaces of insecurity in you.