I looked at the map, and my heart dropped. A new little line jutted out at an angle to include a little neighborhood into a different elementary zone. Our house was in that new area. If these new changes occur, my children will be going to a different school next year. My heart feels heavy even writing this right now. We really like our school. It is small enough that by 3rd grade, my daughter knows all those in her grade, and she has had her very best friend since Kindergarten. We have made parent friends and have even gained relationships with teachers and faculty who have encouraged and celebrated with us in our adoption process. I cannot even picture this change, but I trust that the Lord knows as He has been so faithful in our schooling journey this far.
Upon showing my husband, he responded that maybe if they needed to go through this kind of change anyway, we could look at different options as we had previously discussed. Looking up the new private Christian school in the area, the price per child sticker shock was jaw-dropping and much above our financial capability. My husband started getting frustrated, quickly blaming me for having unreasonable wants he could not provide. This could have easily spiraled into a back-and-forth argument, but understanding the thinking styles has transformed our marriage in moments like these. I could see that under that emotion and blame was a Numbers thinking style, feeling overwhelmed by a problem without a quick solution, which is hard for an expert problem solver. A numbers thinking style also feels trapped when they cannot bring a solution that provides for and benefits those they are greatly loyal to. He was experiencing the anxiety of a problem and the lack he couldn’t fill. Seeing the deeper reasoning behind his response allowed me to have compassion instead of offense and gave me language to encourage him rather than condemn him. We have grown so much in this area, and a short time after, he came to me and apologized, explaining in his own words what I just explained and saying sorry for placing blame in his overwhelm. This is why I am so passionate about these thinking styles. They bring healing and restoration to all relationships when they are understood!