Have you ever been in a rut where it feels like all you are doing with your child is correcting and disciplining? We are in one in our house right now with our six-year-old son. It feels like every ask is so hard: Time to brush your teeth; The bus is coming in 20 minutes; Can you pick up the game you were just playing? It feels like every ask in this season is responded to with a meltdown. By the third or fourth one of the evening (and the 50th one of the week!), our patience is worn and we can struggle to use good tools but simply react by matching his emotions. We know this is a season where my Exodus son is learning how to not let his sensitivity rule him and how to choose joy not sadness in circumstances. This takes time, maturity, and consistency.
I will share more as time goes on, but today I wanted to share something we are being intentional to do in the meantime. My husband and I had a heart-to-heart conversation the other night where he shared, “Honestly, I don’t like my son right now.” It got us thinking about if we were thinking this way, our son was most definitely perceiving that same message. We decided to start doubling down on our efforts. Not the efforts to “fix” our son’s emotional responses but our efforts to make sure he knows we love him and like him no matter what! We are being intentional to watch for and speak things we like about him or see him doing: You are such a good big brother, always making him laugh; That was very kind of you to think of your friend today; What a cool drawing you just made. This has helped our son feel more seen and loved as well as helped us bring back perspective of what is important and what we do indeed love about our amazing son. We will continue to train him and strengthen him to learn to use his gift of sensitivity for others rather than let it consume him, but we don’t want him to learn to regulate at the cost of our connection.
Thanks for letting me be vulnerable here. Parenting is a challenge and a growing experience even when your whole life is currently learning how to strengthen other parents!