“Let’s have you sit on mom’s lap.” MOM, there was a heavy warmth that filled my body upon hearing that word. I wasn’t expecting the emotional response I had today at the doctor’s office. I have been referred to as my son’s mom by many people and even heard mama a few times out of his own mouth. This was the first time though by a medical professional.
The last time we were at a wellness check in August, I handed back a paper to the nurse telling her I didn’t think I needed to fill that one out. It was a postpartum survey.
The nurse asked me, “Are you not the mom?”
“I am his mom, just finishing up the adoption with the state,” I replied.
“Ok, so you’re not mom then,” the nurse stated once again emphatically.
Ouch! She didn’t mean to hurt me as she was referring to the form which was for after having the physical birth of a child. I’m not really sure why in that moment that comment pierced my heart, but it did. I sat back down in the waiting room taking a breath trying to call my body before the appointment and reminding myself that offense is only if I choose to get offended. Maybe the emotion was because the process of adoption was getting a bit weary at that point. My son had been in our home for over six months by then and the consent to adopt had been signed over four months prior. We were just in the waiting process to prove to the state that I was worthy enough to take on the title of mom. A title I had already fully embraced in my heart. Adoption is a weird process of feeling in limbo based on others’ questions and comments. You may not have walked through adoption, but I can guess you have felt the feelings of being unworthy of your role as a parent. Maybe you were the one doing the labeling or someone else. In those moments, I remind myself that I am ever growing and learning as a mom, but that the Lord trusts me and chose me to be this little boy’s mom. He will give me strength and teach me each day. I don’t have to be bothered by others’ words or assumptions, as long as I know what my Father God has to say about me.
So I long ago fully committed and knew in my heart that I was my son’s mom, but it still feels great hearing it!